Growing old gracefully.

old lady coughs and sneezes

Last year I decided to let my hair grow out grey. It was a big decision for me because it is not just the hair thing, it is much more than that for a woman.  For a man it is so different. Men age gracefully automatically, just so long as they take care of their bodies and keep reasonably fit and stay very clean. For women these days, with all the beauty products available, it is more of a conscious decision.  It is almost like saying ‘I don’t want men to see me as a sex object anymore. I am me, I am older, see me as I really am. To be honest, I think going grey aged me ten years! That’s a lot isn’t it.

I wanted to see if people treated me differently and they do. I have become invisible. Some people treat me like their favourite auntie or granny, other people see me as an old nuisance, especially when I have my shopping trolley with me. I do get more respect from some quarters and less from others. What I am not anymore is a potential partner, not by sight anyway. My dazzling personality and winning smile!!! will still see me through when I get into conversation, but I don’t get those second looks anymore, not do I want them.

That is the turning point: I do not want the second looks. I have had a few lapses over the last year. I have hovered for a while around the hair dye aisle in the local Supermarket. I have gazed longingly at the jazzy new nail polish colours further down but I have resisted so far. I have tried to buy more conservative clothes and ended up with a wardrobe with three types of clothes in it. I still have work suits in there because they were expensive and I can’t bear to part with them yet. I have classic type clothes that won’t date and I have the sort of clothes that I really like wearing, which are largely Indian in style, with lots of long dresses with sequins and swirls. So I hover between them all. I rarely wear the suits, although they do come in handy for my visits to town. I wear the classic clothes to meet my friends and go to church etc. but when I am on my own – I paint my nails red and wear my Indian dresses.

Since letting my ‘hair go grey’ I have been much more careful with the way that I speak. I don’t swear any more! I never did swear much but now I leave it along. I don’t think it goes well with my new image.

I have certain role models – people who I admire from films or TV. I try to copy their style as the metamorphosis develops. Here lies a problem because my role models are so diverse. Ideally I would like to look like Sophia Loren. I realise that some people reading this will not have heard of her! Those that have will know exactly what I mean.

Sophia Loren

Then again I like Miss Marple’s style, do you know the version in which Geraldine McKewan stars? She is so sweet and so dainty. Yes, I’d like to be like that.

Miss Marple

See what I mean? It’s a bit of a problem. If I am to be a butterfly changing back into a caterpillar, then I want that caterpillar to be a pretty one – one that people look at and say, ‘that’s a pretty caterpillar.’ Perhaps they will avoid treading on it then!

Now I’m off to Sainsbury’s with my shopping trolley (that’s a bag on wheels) ready to do battle with the crowds but with a big smile on my face.

I’m getting there slowly…

12 thoughts on “Growing old gracefully.

    • (laughing) indeed you are right, it is! I have heard a lot of comments from people who say ‘I will never go grey’ but to me nothing looks worse than someone who has dyed their hair too dark a shade, with an inch of grey or white regrowth underneath.

  1. Okay, so it’s been awhile since I visited…Congrats on your new grandson!!! I know that’s exciting for everyone.
    As for the going grey, good for you. I’m sure it’s an adjustment. I hate that our society is so focused on the surface that we automatically glance past someone who doesn’t have a certain image. I run into in my age group as well. It seems that second glances don’t come to those who don’t go out in full battle gear (hair, makeup, jewelry). I have to be content with those who know me, who actually See me still finding beauty in me.
    Too bad we aren’t like other cultures who see great beauty in aging, who hold a place of reverence for those who have lived longer than themselves. Perhaps in time we will be less one dimensional in our perception of beauty.

    • That’s a great reply Whitney! and great to see you again on here 🙂 Perhaps it is the pop music culture which has eroticised women to such an extent that they have to show so much flesh now, just to get noticed or listened to.
      I think it is mostly Asian cultures who revere age and its wisdom. Perhaps we, in the west, have ourselves to blame. Certainly feminism has its downside.

  2. I know what you mean about being a little old lady with white hair. I am glad to be in this place and actually really appreciate it when young gorgeous men offer to open the door for me. I’m proud to be seventy! 🙂

    • I’ve read your posts as linked and it seems like I’ve done just the same as you. The difference being that my hair was very long, below my shoulders and I liked it long. It was a big decision but like you I made it. I have gone through the same transformation from a similar colour (mine was dyed a little darker I think). Now through cutting it is all my own colour but it is not all the same yet. My hairdresser thinks it never will be. She told me it might never be all white or silver. I’m not sure about that! May have to rethink one day. For now I’m happy with it. Yours looks lovely. You have the perfect style for your face and your shines beautifully. Mine will never shine. Unfortunately it is not that sort of hair.

  3. When people say my grey (a nice shade) looks attractive, I feel GREAT. Next year I reach the big 80 and I am still clothes conscious. Nothing outrageous, you understand, but I’m fussy about colour matching and at least looking like an elderly executive….grins. By the way, I love the cartoon… how true is that…haha.

    • Good for you Valerie. I think grey hair is attractive especially when it is silvery. Mine is still quite dark at the back, but what I see in the mirror is silvery grey and I like that.

    • Thank you Loren. You are a real gentleman. ps I love the Beatles and all their songs. When I saw the one you chose today, it made me feel very emotional. I can’t listen to it just yet…

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